http://www.partyideasforyou.com/chinese-celebration-october/
Can someone please edit this for me? (tell me how to make this better or what could i add or delete)?
The Mid-Autumn festival commonly know as the Moon cake Festival or the Lantern Festival is one of the most imperative holidays in the Chinese culture, second to the lunar New Year. In western calendar the festival normally falls during mid September and the beginning of October. This year the Mooncake festival will fall on September 25th. During this time, the moon is at its fullest and brightest, which marks an ideal time to celebrate the ampleness of the summer’s harvest. Similar to the lunar New Year, this holiday is full of traditions and celebrations. Many of these traditions and celebrations which I celebrate are traditions that were passed down from many generations to my parents from their grandparents. These traditions make up the components of this holiday.
OK well a couple of things that I can see right off are that it seems that mooncake should be two words if I’m not mistaken. Another is a grammatical/ punctuation error in one of your sentences. Here it is and its correction.
Many of these traditions and celebrations which I celebrate are traditions there were passed down from many generations to my grandparents to my parents from their grandparents.
First off the word which is a word known as a dependent clause marker the words Many of these traditions and celebration I celebrate makes it a dependent clause. so you need to set it off with commas. It should read Many of these traditions and celebrations, which I celebrate, are traditions that were passed down from many generations. I would end that sentence there and start a new one with something like This festival can be dated back to my great grandparents. Also, in the last sentence I would make it a little different. Instead of make up the components I would probably say These traditions make this holiday so special, and fun that my family and I never want to miss a year of its celebration. Well hope all this helped but I am not a pro so may wanna see what everyone else think….but I am sure about the WHICH part 
~ GOOD LUCK!!!
China’s 60th Anniversary Celebration
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60th Anniversary of Founding of the People's Republic of China National DAY Military Parade Mass Pageant Celebrations / 3 DVD Special Edition / Disc 1 - has the full coverage of CCTV of October 1st Beijing events / 2 hours 30 minutes Disc 2 - has the Night program, the Mass Pageant in events / 2 hours Disc 3 - has a special documentary on the History of China focusing on Mao
$23.99 60th Anniversary of Founding of the People's Republic of China National DAY Military Parade Mass Pageant Celebrations / 3 DVD Special Edition / Disc 1 - has the full coverage of CCTV of October 1st Beijing events / 2 hours 30 minutes Disc 2 - has the Night program, the Mass Pageant in events / 2 hours Disc 3 - has a special documentary on the History of China focusing on Mao ASIN: 7799824638 DVD R... |