http://www.partyideasforyou.com/birthday-party-ideas-illinois/
If you’ve ever been to a birthday party (and who hasn’t?), you’ve probably noticed that people will eventually choose a chair and sit in down.
If there aren’t too many guests and plenty of chairs, they may flit from one to another during the party. But what happens if there are more guests than chairs? Chances are good that those who are already seated will try hard never to leave their chairs during the party. And if they do, they will leave telltale signs of ownership, such as a purse, a sweater or a plate of food.
Don’t believe it? Science will back this one up. Dr. Hiram S. Burnshocker of Peoria University in Illinois has studied Peer-Chair Pressure for the last 30 years. If you don’t know of Dr. Burnshocker’s work, he was the one who first discovered that the major cause of teenage pregnancy was teenagers.
According to the good doctor, PCP (Peer-Chair Pressure) is a common sociological disease that manifests itself at larger social gatherings such as birthday parties.
“The room can be full of chairs. But as guests arrive at the party, the available number of chairs dwindles correspondingly,” he says. “New arrivals are pressured to find a place to sit. I have seen people sit at a birthday party for six hours straight in the same chair, simply out of fear of losing it. On a subconscious level, their fear of losing a chair is to lose a place in life… and that’s a very dangerous situation indeed.”
A visit to his research facility confirmed this. The doctor led us down a dimly lit corridor lined with doors. We went past four of them, then stopped at the fifth. The room was empty, except for a single individual.
“This is George,” Dr. Burnshocker whispered. “He arrived late at to his friend’s birthday party. He couldn’t find a place to sit. He looked everywhere – the kitchen, the bedrooms, the bathroom – no chair. Finally, he snapped of PCP. We can’t even say the word “chair” around him – it will create a birthday party regression memory.”
As we walked away, one person on the tour couldn’t hold their tongue any longer.
“I don’t care if this is research or not,” she said indignantly. “It’s cruel and inhumane.”
“You’re just in denial,” replied the doctor. “Some day you’ll realize that you too suffer at least some form of PCP. And whenever you step into a room with a birthday party your eyes will start darting around the room, looking for a place to sit. Soon you’ll be happy just to have an arm of a sofa to balance on.”
“And then what?” she said.
The doctor thought for a moment.
“Then it happens. At some birthday party in the future, you snap just like George. An innocent game of musical chairs suddenly becomes a life and death struggle.”
“And then?” she pressed.
“Well, you know what they say about musical chairs,” the good doctor replied, never wanting to miss a chance at a very bad pun. “Chair today. Gone tomorrow.”
Author: Barry Mcgee
URL: HappiestBirthday.com
Kim Jong-il’s 65th birthday celebrations in 2007